Omakelous Ladybug
by KivatheDCWizard
Summary: A series of Ladybug omakes. Title says all
1. Omakelous 1

**SUMMONING**

Ladybug: Let's try out our new powers. Ladybugs unite!

Ladybug summons a swarm of ladybugs whom attack the Akuma.

Akuma: Ah, get them off, get them off...Oh damn they stink!

Chat: Paw-some. I'm next. Cats, unite!

The Akuma was attacked by a bunch of cats whom claw and bite at him.

Akuma: Gah! Bad kitties! Down!

Rena Rouge: Oh, now me! I summon the foxes!

The Foxes also arrive and bite at the Akuma!

Akuma: I thought this was a superhero battle, not 'When Animals attack!'

Queen Bee: That's awesome. But watch me. Bees, come forth to serve your queen.

Akuma: Ah! They're stinging me!

Carapace: Rad! Turtles, come forth!

Nothing happened. Several minutes go by, without anything happening.

Carapace: They'll get here, but it may take a while...

Chat: Shell-ter is useful but seriously, you should have gotten a faster animal to be your totem.

**INTERVENTION**

Marinette: Alya, this is an intervention.

Alya: What did I do wrong?

Marinette: You should stop writing shipping fics! You have a problem with shipping!

Alya: No, I do not!

Marinette: How about that time you wrote a shipfic of me and Kagami?

Alya: I thought your rivalry was sexual tension.

Marinette: And the fic where I, Adrien and Kagami are in a three way relationship?

Alya: That way everyone is happy.

Marinette: You have a problem, so put down that keyboard and let me talk you into getting help.

Alya: Can I finish this fic first?

Marinette: What did you write this time? Let me see...(reads summary of the fic aloud) 'Ladybug discovers a new power of her Miraculous, the power to Harem-ize the people whom love her into her sexy harem girls...that does it, you are going to see a doctor!

**SUMMONING II**

Carapace still is standing there, weeks after they beat the last Akuma. He was growing stubble, but nothing else to show he has been standing in one spot for a long time.

Chat: Carapace, you are here for weeks. Sorry if your totem animal is slow, but you can't keep waiting...

Carapace: No! You got to do it, I will stand here until they arrive. As long as I don't use Shell-ter I can hold this transformation indefinately without having to eat, sleep or pee!

Chat: Ugh! Suit it yourself!

Chat leaves. A few minutes after the horde of turtles finally around.

Carapace: You came!

The Akuma from last time was there too, he got somehow akumatized again.

Akuma: Bwahaha! What are they going to do? Slow me to death?

Carapce grabs the Akuma and tosses him in the turtle horde, whom start biting. The Akuma screams in pain.

Carapace: Turtle, bitches!

**LADYBUG STANK**

Rena Rouge: I know Chat has a few cat-like traits, and I am acting a bit more fox-like but...did you inherit any traits from actual ladybugs?

Ladybug: I got one...

Rena Rouge: Why are you smirking? (sniffs air) Ew! Ladybug!

Ladybug: What? Actual ladybugs produce a stench when they are in danger.

Rena Rouge: I am disgusted, but I am also somehow impressed. Say Chat, why are you not flinching?

Chat Noir: I have a kwami with a camembert addiction, I am used to strong smells.

An Akuma arrives on the scene.

Akuma: Prepare to hand over your Miraculou-(sniffs air, then gags) Gah! (promptly faints)

Ladybug: Huh, quite effective. I should use it more often.

Rena Rouge: Do us a favor and don't!

**SUMMONING III**

The Akuma from the last two summonings was back. He was confronted by Carapace again.

Akuma: You cannot stop me! I will have your Miraculouses this time!

Carapace: Not if I can help it! I summon the turtles.

Akuma: Seriously? Haven't you learned, turtles are slow! So do me a favor and...

Suddenly the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles come in and beat the crud out of the Akuma.

Carapace: Thanks dudes.

Leonardo: You're welcome. Always ready to help out fellow turtle heroes.

Michaelangelo: Want to grab a slice of pizza with us?

Carapace: Hell yeah!


	2. Lila Rossi is killed by Akumas

**IN WHICH LILA ROSSI IS KILLED BY AKUMAS PART I**

"In which what now?" Lila asked.

**STONEHEART**

"No seriously, what was that bout me about every Akuma..." Lila asked, as suddenly she was crushed under a huge, gigantic rock.

Actually, that rock was the foot of a giant Stoneheart. "Ew! I stepped into a bitch! Gross!" the giant golem Akuma said as he scraped his foot across the floor to clean it off, leaving a huge, red bloody streak.

Lila was revived after Stoneheart's defeat by the Miraculous Ladybug. "Did I really die just now?" Lila asked horrified.

**STORMY WEATHER**

Lila was in the park when lightningbolts flew everywhere in the battle between Stormy Weather, Ladybug and Chat Noir. Lila screamed as one of the lightningbolts headed for her, but it missed, and hit a tree next to her. Lila let out a relieved 'Oof!' and then a smug "Hah!" Then the tree that was struck by lightning fell down on top of her with a sick crunching sound. "Ouch!" was the last thing Lila said before life left her that time.

**BUBBLER **

Lila was walking across the streets, late for Adrien Agreste's birthday party...Suddenly someone ran into her and nearly knocked her over, but didn't bother to stop to see if she was all right. "Rude!" Lila said as suddenly she was caught into a bubble. The bubble was meant for the adult that ran her over and now she caught the blow instead. She was slowly floating into the sky. "Now that's just dandy!"

A bird floated next to her bubble. "Shoo! Flying rat, be gone!" Lila said. You would expect a magical bubble made by an Akuma to be more durable. However...when the bird pecked at her bubble in revenge, Lila was afloat in cartoonish fashion for one more second, long enough to say "Uh-oh!" before she plummeted to her doom.

One yell Disney's Goofy would be proud of, and Lila embraced her Italian heritage by becoming a pizza. A street pizza that is.

**PHARAOH **

The Pharaoh was performing a ritual to bring back Queen Nefertite. Only this time Lila was on top of the pyramid, the beam of light pushing her through a hole in the sky. "Oh come on, I wasn't even around for most of the early episodes, can't I get a break?" Lila said as she vanished through the hole.

A hot egyptian woman fell out of the sky and landed in the Pharaoh's arms. "Er...hi?" the Pharaoh said, suddenly a lot shyer with a hot girl in his arms.

"Hello, dreamboy!" the egyptian woman said as she snogged the Pharaoh. At least they were happy.

Lila not so much as even in the afterlife she wouldn't get rest as she was chased by the soul-devouring crocodile-headed Demoness Ammit. "Ah! This is ridiculous. I technically died already, do I have to be double dead?" she said as she ran before her soul was eaten by crocodile head.

**TIMEBREAKER**

Lila pretended to be nice and supportive while Alix and Kim raced. Up until Alix became Timebreaker and touched her. She was literally fading away from the timeline. Well, that's just peachy.

However, Timebreaker was back in time and spoke to her past self. "Don't give anyone the watch. It will drop and break. So I was akumatized in the future. I stole people's life force so I would go back in time."

"Oh...well, luckily that has been prevented now." Alix said to her future Akuma self. But now that you went back to prevent the thing from happening, does that mean you should fade from existence?"

"Oh..." Timebreaker said as she literally vanishes with a 'pop'!

"The akuma is gone, I'm not going to die this time!" Lila said cheerfully. Then a piano drops on top of her head and unceremoniously kills her again. "Where did that even come from?" were Lila's last words before she died...again.

Up in the air, a helicopter floated, with a guy in a tux strapped to the bottom with a series of roped and a safety harness. He looks in front of him a few loose hanging broken ropes. "Where, there goes my wedding proposal by flying piano solo. I think I'll just go the classic way and take her to a restaurant." The guy managed to propose, his future wife said yes, and everyone but Lila was happy.


	3. Potinette

**POTINETTE**

"Marinette...where did you get those brownies?" Alya asked. The brownies Marinette was eating were not the ones from the bakery, she would recognize anything from the Dupain-Cheng bakery everywhere, since she has been there so often.

"A gift from Luka. He said they helped him chill." Marinette said as she suddenly busted out into giggling. "Your glasses are funny."

"Oh boy!" Alya said as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "Juleka, that pothead of your brother gave his special brownies to Marinette."

"This is why I never tell anyone he exists!" Juleka said. Yeah, no wonder it took a while for them to figure out she even had a brother.

"Hey, Mari-Trash, should I call you DuPothead-Cheng now?" Chloé said in a mocking tone of voice as she bent over to mock Marinette to her face.

"Boop!" Marinette said as she touched Chloé's nose with her finger, all with a dreamy look on her face.

"If you put any of your peasant fingers on my face again I'll..." Chloé said, but she was cut off when Marinette shoved one of the brownies in her mouth. Chloé was so surprised that she accidentally swallowed it. "Gah! I've been given a drugs brownie! I'm going to die!" she said as she panicked and ran around the room like a chicken with it's head chopped off.

"I think you had enough of those." Alya said as she took them away and held them out of reach. Marinette lazily reached out for the brownies but she slumped over and landed with nose in Alya's bosom. "Gah!"

"They are so soft...like two pillows!" Marinette moaned.

"Get off, Marinette, you are not well!" Alya said as she pushed her drugged up best friend off. "Remind me to kill your brother, Juleka!"

"Sorry Alya. Your boobies are soft but my heart belongs to Adrien." Marinette said, too drugged up to have a filter.

"Say what now?" Adrien asked in surprise.

"You are so sweet and kind and cute and stuff. You are like a cinnamon bun!" Marinette said as she left her seat, sat down next to Adrien and cuddled close to him as Adrien blushed very hard.

"Well, that is the only pleasant side effect of ths whome thing." Alya said with a smirk.

At that point, Lila decides to come in. "Hello everyone, sorry I'm late but I was helping out at an orphanage and..."

"MIRACULOUS LADYBUG!" Marinette said as she threw a book across the room and in Lila's face, knocking her to the ground.

Lila got up and huffed! "What the f*** is wrong with you, you cunt?" she said as she stomped the floor in anger.

"Wait, didn't you say you hurt your ankle yesterday?" Adrien asked.

"Oh...oh, yes I did. But it has been going better...Ouch! I am mistaken, it is getting bad again!" Lila said in a fake display. "Oh, where is my bracelet, I still had it before Marinette tossed that book at me..." There was a cracking sound, something of which Lila didn't like the sound off.

"Oops! Sorry, Lila! I stepped on your bracelet. It broke." Ivan said as he lifted the remnants of the bracelet up in her hand.

"What else can go wrong..." Lila moaned as she eyed the bracelet's remains. Then the bottom of her backpack gave out and the contents spilled all across the floor, while a smirking Plagg, unnoticed by everyone snuck back into Adrien's backpack.

"Let me help you with that...hey, it is a receipt to a 'cursed bracelet that makes people believe your lies. Does not work on those whom wore magic artifacts prior to the spell taking effect..." Max said as he went through the fallen papers.

"Nope!" Lila said as she took the receipt, crunched it into a ball, and then ate it whole. "There!"

"Hey, are those the answers to the test we'll have tomorrow?" Max said as he held up another paper. Lila grabbed it and promptly ate it as well. "Oh, and this paper says 'Operation Get Marinette Expelled and Make Adrien Mine and I Need To Think Of Shorter And Better Operation Names!"

Lila took that paper as well and ate it too. But then she grabbed her stomach and just now she realized that eating paper is a BAD idea. "Oh, I need to go see the nurse, for real this time!" she said as she ran out of the classroom.

"You know, with that cursed bracelet destroyed, things make much more sense...Jagged Stone never had a cat!" Ivan said.

"I am a reporter but I never checked my sources. I feel stupid!" Alya said, sounding horrified.

"We best pucker up, because as soon as Marinette is no longer high, we are going to kiss her ass for months to make it up to her." Nino said sadly.

"She did a very convincing Ladybug impression when she threw that book, though." Rose noted. "It was almost like she WAS Ladybug."

"Silly Rose, I am Ladybug! Tikki, Spots On!" a very high Marinette said as she transformed. "Ta-da!" she said as she spread her arms. Alya promptly fainted.

"Mari-whua?" Adrien stammered.

"I love you Adrien!" Ladybug said as she promptly kissed Adrien on the lips. Alya just woke up just to see Adrien and Ladybug kiss and faint again.

After a long, passionate kiss they broke apart and Adrien said with a goofy grin: "I love you too Milady." He then realized what he said and covered his mouth with his hands. Everyone looked at him surprised. "You know what, screw it! Plagg, Claws Out!" he said as he became Chat Noir. Alya had waken up again just to see Adrien transform and faint yet again.

"Kitty?" A high Ladybug asked, briefly surprised. Her dopey grin returned to her face rather quickly. "I love you, kitty!" and she promptly kissed him again. Alya had woken up again, and then fainted at the sight of Ladybug and Chat Noir having a full out snogging session.

At that point Nathaniel came into the class. "Sorry I'm late, my bus got a flat tire and I had to walk the rest of-" Nathaniel said as he saw Ladybug and Chat Noir making out, a fainted Alya, Rose and Juleka working on a paper that said 'Ways to make the Lila Bitch Pay for cursing us.' "Something tells me I missed something important."

"Hey, has anyone seen Chloé?" Sabrina asked.

"Chloé, sweetheart!" André Bourgeois said through a megaphone, provided by a police officer as he turned to his daughter. "Please come down from the roof of city hall and put on some clothes again!"

"FREEDOM!" A starkers Chloé said from on top of the highest point on the roof of City Hall.

Later that day, at the Couffaine Houseboat...Luka stepped out. "I think I play guitar today. It is my only character trait after all." He was then shot in the chest, he stumbled down, fell over the railing of the boat, into the Seine, where he was promptly eaten by a shark.

Alya blew smoke from the barrel of the gun she used to shoot Luka as Juleka said: "When you said you would kill him for those pot brownies I didn't think you'd mean it literally."

"You don't seem too upset with his death right now." Alya noted.

"He was a bland guy. Besides, it means that I get a bigger allowance now." Juleka said. "Taking Rose out on dates doesn't come cheap."

"I guess not. Wait, you say you are dating Rose?" Alya said.

"Yup!" Juleka said.

"My third one true pairing after Marinette and Adrien, and Ladybug and Chat...came...true!" Alya then fainted again.

Juleka took out her phone and checked something. "Lila's dead...apparently the ink in the papers she ate was highly toxic. Huh..."

Two weeks later and the class went back to being relative normal. The other classmates sans Chloé (whom no one dared to inform) and Lila (whom was dead) knew the identity of the heroes, but kept it quiet. Though Chloé has returned to class, she was not the same after being forcefed that potbrownie. She was much more pleasant. She was also still naked. "Chloé...why are you not wearing clothes?" Miss Bustier asked.

"When I relieved myself of my clothes, I felt such a freedom, and I cast more then just my simple clothes. I cast off a mask. I no longer am concerned with living up to my family's expectations, I feel like I should be whom I want to be. And I no longer want to be the spoiled brat. I want to be my own girl, I want as much freedom as possible...that I love the feeling of the breeze on my skin. Behold Paris, this is the new me!" as the very naked Chloé sat up and most people tried hard not to stare.

"I have a girlfriend!" Nino, Kim, Ivan, Rose and Juleka said to themselves. Max, the only one whom was single took an ice cold soda from his bad and put it in between his legs.

"I got a boyfriend!" Nathaniel whimpered.

Only Adrien wasn't saying anything but he only had eyes for Marinette, whom he was cuddling right now and seemingly not aware of his childhood friend not wearing anything. A boy from the other class then walked in. "Hello everyone, our class is out chalk, mind if we borrow some here?"

"There is a supply room you know, and you seem to be awfully keen on coming here to borrow stuff, any particular reason?"

"What makes you think that?" the boy said, looking at Chloé unashamedly.

"Does anyone wonder what happened to the rest of those brownies, they just vanished after I fainted." Alya muttered.

Nathalie eyed Gabriel, whom was looking way too happy. "Sir, where did you get those brownies?"

"My son took them home from school!" Gabriel said in a dreamy voice.

"You do realize you created an Akuma shaped like a giant set of genitalia?" Nathalie asked.

"Yes!" Gabriel said like a kid on a sugar rush. "Because I'm freakin' Hawkmoth!" he said as he jumped out the window.

Nathalie looked at Nooroo flying nearby. Gabriel hadn't transformed when jumping out the window. Which means he lacks the enhanced durability of Hawkmoth to survive the fall. "Damn, he still hadn't paid out my Christmas Bonus." Nathalie thought.


	4. LIla is killed by even more Akumas

**IN WHICH LILA IS KILLED BY EVEN MORE AKUMAS**

"No, please no!" Lila begged. Her pleas were utterly ignored.

**DARK CUPID**

"What is he going to do? I hate everyone already!" Lila asked. An arrow hit her in the chest. "See! I don't feel anything...aside a bit of numbness and wetness on my...oh my, that is a real arrow!" Lila fell down dead.

"He should have aimed for the knee." Chat Noir noted.

"Chat! No memes!"

**MR. PIGEON**

Lila was in the park, in a foul mood. Several pigeons were pecking at stuff on the ground near her feet. "Get away, you flying rats!" She kicked at the birds, missed, and fell on her butt as the pigeons flew away startled. Lila got up and dusted herself off, pretending she didn't humiliate herself by missing the pigeons earlier.

"Those whom are mean to my feathered friends face the wrath of Mr. Pigeon!" the Akuma of the same name said. He was surrounded by his signature army of pigeons.

"What are you and those birds going to do, shit on me?" Lila asked.

"Don't be bemused, it's just the news. This is Nadja Chamak, reporting about a tragic and unusual death. Lila Rossi, daughter of ambassador Benigna Rossi died after being buried under a mountain of pigeon...droppings and choking to death as a result."

**GUITAR VILLAIN**

"...And because I saved his kitty from being overrun by an airplane Jagged Stone devoted a song to me..." Lila bragged to her classmates.

Suddenly an akumatized Jagged Stone swooped in on the back of his crocodile turned dragon Fang, the latter whom grabbed Lila in his jaws, threw her in the air, and then let her fall into his open jaws, swallowing.

"Lying about me is so un-Rock 'n Roll!" Guitar Villain said.

"Well, it is so un-rock 'n roll in here! What do you feed that overgrown lizard of yours..." Lila's voice sounded from inside the stomach of the dragon. "Why do my legs hurt...Holy crap, stomach acid!"

"Fang, I told you before, don't swallow your food whole...It may give you indigestion." Guitar Villain said as he petted his croc-dragon behind the ears.

**PUPPETEER**

Lila was forced to dance for the amusement of Puppeteer, whom held a puppet in her likeness in her hands and moved it around, and in voodoo-doll fashion had to obey. "First I get inserted in episodes I haven't debuted in yet, and now we are to believe that Marinette DuCrap-Cheng made a doll of me which this little brat uses..." Lila groaned.

"Now, let's do the split!" Puppeteer said.

"No, wait I'm not that agile!" Lila said as she was forced to a spread leg ballet move that her body couldn't handle and she was in so much pain, especially in her lower body. "I'm never going to be able to lay a boy..." she moaned.

"Oh, this dolly is dirty! It needs a wash!" Puppeteer said as she conjured a tub of water and soap.

"Wait, you don't hold the doll like th-" Lila tried to warn, but then she got the sensation of not being able to breathe and water filling her lungs, as puppeteers carelessles held the doll underwater. She struggled but she couldn't move, and Lila died, drowning on dry land.

"There, all clean, now Lila is going to dance again...Lila?" Puppeteer said. "I think the doll is broken."

**VOLPINA**

"But wait, I am Volpina...how can I die at my own hands?" Lila, having turned in Volpina asked.

"Cataclysm!" Chat Noir shouted as he aimed his hand, which was glowing in black energy from the Cataclysm, at Volpina. She tried to jump out of the way, but she tripped. Chat had tried to grab the necklace but instead has accidentally touched Lila's face.

Lila looked at her body, which started to turn in black ash and started to crumble softly. "Hey, I thought that was not how your Cataclysm worked..." Lila said before she was nothing but dust being blown away in the wind.


	5. Marinette is tired of Chloé's bullshit

**OMAKELOUS  
IN WHICH MARINETTE IS NOT IN THE MOOD FOR CHLOE'S BULLSHIT**

Marinette looked like crud. Her hair was messy, she had huge bags under her eyes and she had a face that suggested you don't want to mess with her today. The only thing she could do was grumble. Alya arrived in class and saw her bestie in distress. "Oh dear...rough night?"

Marinette grumbles.

"Akumas keeping you awake?"

Marinette grumbles again.

"And having had your period on top of things?"

Marinette grumbles some more.

"I could understand. Something I can do?"

Marinette continues to grumble.

"That's a shame." Alya replied.

At that point, Chloé Bourgeois came in and wasted no time in antagonizing our heroine. "Hello Mari-trash. I can say that in earnest because you literally look like trash..."

"Chloé, it is not a good moment, she had a rough night, so can you leave her alone." Alya asked.

Marinette just grumbled and looked really, really annoyed at Chloé.

"What is she going to do? Kill me with her horrible fashion sense?" Chloé mocked. Five seconds later she was tossed out the window and left a nice, Chloé shaped imprint in the floor of the courtyard. Chloé got up, stumbled and dusted herself off. "That does it! The bitch is going down." She ran down inside again but five secs later she was tossed through another window and left a second imprint in the ground. Chloé got up again, in more pain then before. "I'm not done with her, this time I'm bringing in Sabrina..." A few moments later she was tossed out of the window again. Before she even got up, Sabrina was thrown on top of her, adding to her pain.

"I didn't know she was that strong." Sabrina moaned.

"Get off me!" Chloé said. She pushed Sabrina off and got up. "The joke's on her, there are no more windows in our classroom she can thrown us through. Chloé said as she ran back inside, Sabrina on her heels.

A few moments later, Marinette walked into a neighboring classroom, dragging a screeching and trashing Chloé and Sabrina by their hair. The bluenette weakly mumbled: "Sorry for interrupting, just passing through." she then tossed both through the window. "Put that window on Chloé's bill. Have a nice day." she mumbled before going back to her own class.

The teacher eyed her with a confused look before he said: "What a charming young lady. Now class, open your books on page five..."

Chloé limped back in the classroom, Sabrina once again on her heels. "All right Dupain-Cheng; It is easy to toss us through windows, but if you want to get rid of us you have to do better then that."

Marinette slowly (and the way she did it was quite frankly a bit creepy) turned her head towards Chloé and grumbled.

Chloé arrived with the School Nurse a few seconds later. The nurse looked at her and asked: "How did you get that weird tail, an Akuma?"

"That is not an Akuma, that is my friend Sabrina. Dupain-Cheng shoved her head up my...posterior." Chloé said with a painful grimace on her face.

Well, the Sabrina girl was already with her head so much up Chloé's arse you didn't know where Chloé ended and Sabrina began. The nurse sighed and put on some rubber gloves and grabbed a bottle of lube. A few minutes later they both were out of the nurse's office, Chloé limping and Sabrina missing her glasses. "I'm sorry about the glasses, they got stuck and have to come out the natural way. Take these laxatives every three hours and that should do the trick."

"Don't give back those glasses when they come out." Sabrina noted. "And ask your driver to never drive us through tunnels again, I have just developed a fear of them."

Chloé just grumbled. "You stay behind Sabrina, she can't shove anyone up my ass if I don't have anyone joining me." she said as she limped back into the classroom. A few seconds later something came out that resembled a yellow sphere with arms and legs. It turned out to be Chloé, but her head was now literally up her own ass.

The nurse sighed again. "I am going to get more lube."

Chloé got back in class. She saw an orange sphere with arms and legs skitter by like a twisted crab. "Hello, Lila. I see you also run afoul of Dupain-Cheng." the now head-up-her-own-ass Lila mumbled something. "Yeah, the nurse still has lube. Be careful with any headgear, my sunglasses and Sabrina's glasses are still stuck in my bowels somewhere." the Lila thing skittered off.

Chloé sighed. "Oh how I want to tear Dupain-Cheng apart!" An Akuma flew by and crawled into her pants, right up her ass to infect the sunglasses that were lodged there. "Hello!" Chloé said, startled and blushing as she felt the insect crawl inside. A few moment later she was engulfed in the dark Akuma energy that came with the transformation.

She walked into class as Antibug and now confronted Marinette again: "All right, Dupain-Cheng, let's see you try to get the best of me now I'm an Akuma! Oh, these are passionfruit Maccarons. Adrikins' favorite...Are these for him? Well, not anymore!" Antibug snatched them and shoved them all in her mouth. "What are you going to do about it now, Clumsinette?" Antibug taunted, flicking her finger against Marinette's nose.

Marinette vibrated heavily as steam came out of her ears. "Oh no..." Alya said. "Take cover!" everyone ducked under their desk aside from Antibug, whom didn't realize the full scale of the trouble she's in.

"MAKE TROUBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Marinette screamed so loud, that Antibug's ponytail became unraveled, then her mask flew off...then her Antibug suit flew off. Then the padding flew out of her bra. Then her underwear, causing her to cover her flat chest with one arm and held her other hand to her groin.

What happened next is that a very naked Antibug flew through the air out of the classroom, Team Rocket style. Marinette sat down back in her seat like nothing happened. She then slumped down on her desk and snoring sounds could be heard. "Poor thing is exhausted, best not wake her." Alya said. After what she did earlier, no one was stupid enough to do that."

Later on, a private doctor had to be called to the Agreste mansion to get Antibug's head pulled out of the rectum of Gabriel Agreste. He refused to comment on what happened and paid the doctor double to keep it all quiet.


	6. Chloe, meet Karma

**IN WHICH CHLOE GETS KARMA FROM AKUMA AND THE DAMAGE ISN'T FIXED**

**KUNG FOOD**

"You can't throw Chloé in your soup." Ladybug said.

"Thank you." Chloé said relieved.

"She is caked from head to toe in makeup, she'll spoil your soup!" Ladybug said.

"I don't know whether to be insulted or horrified." Chloé said.

"You're right." Kung Food said as he snapped his fingers and Chloé turned into a pig. "There, now she's safe for making soup. Or some killer Babi Pangang!"

"I'm a pig! A big, fat, dirty pig! Whaaaaaa!" Chloé cried.

"No worries, my Miraculous Ladybug Cure will fix this...as soon as I took a picture of this." Ladybug said as she pulled out her yoyo's camera.

Turns out, Chloé was still a pig after the Miraculous Ladybug. "I am still a pig. I ate a half-eaten hotdog someone threw away on the ground and it tasted good, what is wrong with me?" The bratty pig girl whined.

"Well, You had the chops for it after all. Not that I doubted you, on the Bacon-trary! You are going to ham it up? That'd be..." Chat said as Chloé gave him a death glare. "I'm sorry, I'll stop. I'm not going to RIB it in anymore."

"School is going to be a nightmare." Chloé muttered.

**REFLEKTA**

After the Reflekta ordeal, Chloé still looked like Reflekta, and she didn't know why. But she hoped that she was able to fix her looks. She tried makeup, but none would stick on her hair or skin. She tried to comb her hair, but her comb broke against the hard, plastic-like hair. She gritted her teeth as she tried ripping off her dress, but she cried out in pain as she did.

"What kind of bullshit is this? The dress is part of my body now? What do I do when I need to go to the bathroom? I cannot make myself up, this is horrible!" Chloé cried.

"You were a horrible person, so that is karma for you." Marinette said.

"Screw you, Maritrash!" Chloé said as she tried to do a hair flip...Only to realize she couldn't do that with her current hair. She sighed, tried to walk away, but lost her balance on those ridiculous long heels and fell flat on her face. She cried out in pain and frustration, curled up in a ball, huggled her legs and sucked her thumb.

**VANISHER**

"You think that if we came earlier, that she wouldn't be like this?" Ladybug said as she looked through a window in a door, which led to a cell.

A padded cell, were Chloé Bourgeois was inside. Chloé screamed out: "She's here! You don't see her, but she's here. She's going to get me, she's after me. HELP ME!"

"Poor Chloé...hopefully they'll be able to cure her of...whatever this is." Chat said as he and Ladybug left.

Chloé whimpered as she saw her heroes leave. She looked at the empty spot in her cell. "Please don't hurt me."

Vanisher's soft laughter filled the cell.

**PRINCESS FRAGRANCE**

"I still smell of your horrible Akuma perfume, fix this now!" Chloé threatened a de-akumatized Rose.

"I don't know how. I don't even remember." Rose whimpered.

"You are useless, utterly useless!" Chloé said.

Rose whimpered. "Shut up, you big meanie!"

Chloé wanted to add something, but she found her lips are stuck together. She couldn't open them, like someone had replaced her lipstick with superglue. Chloe clawed at her mouth, stomped the ground in rage, but she couldn't open her mouth.

"Whoa, aside form the stench, the mind control perfume has some after-effects as well, she is forced to obey your commands." Juleka said, a cloth pin on her nose, and an impish grin on her face. "Tell her to strip."

"Wouldn't that be going too far?" Rose asked.

"I'll strip for you in private if you ask her to strip in public." Juleka said.

"Chloe, Strip now!" Rose blurted out.

Chloé would never get over the humiliation of stripping in public, ending up in juvie, have her body be displayed on the internet for all to see and the therapy bills that came with it. That and being forced to obey Rose's every command. Rose wouldn't have abused it so much if Chloé was smart and stopped being mean. But she didn't.

"Chloé, what you did was mean, as a punishment, lick the pavement!"

**TIMEBREAKER**

"Wait, I came back in time, but Chloé still has been erased..." Ladybug said.

"Whom are you talking about?" Chat asked.

"Well, you know...Er, whom was I talking about again?" Ladybug asked.

"I dunno, must be nothing important." Chat said.

Meanwhile in a white void. "Whoa, where am I?" Chloé asked.

"Hello, I'm Thomas Astruc. We are in a void outside time and space. If you're sent here, you are erased from the timeline or removed from it. I was put here because they said I was stupid-fying my timeline."

"Well, someone will get me out, I mean the timeline can't be good without me?" Chloé asked.

In the normal timeline, Marinette was happily dating Adrien Agreste. She couldn't shake that feeling that some sort of pest has been removed from her life and that was something to feel good about, but she couldn't remember. Oh well, the feeling would wear off; The tingling on her lips from kissing Adrien wouldn't.


	7. Random Bits

**EVEN MORE TURTLES**

The random Akuma whom was always on the receiving end of Carapace's turtle summoning walked up to Carapace and spat: "I did my research. There are no turtles nearby, the Ninja turtles are back to New York, you can't touch me this time!"

Carapace snapped his fingers and a giant robot turtle dropped from the sky and squished the Akuma flat. The giant robot turtle let out a weird cry.

"Thank you Tor!" Carapace said. Tor let out a grateful cry as he scurried off.

At the bottom of a crater, the Akuma was flat as a sheet of paper. "Curse my luck."

**MEDICATED ROSSI**

"So Lila's antisocial and psychotic behavior was so bad that now she has to take some really powerful anti-psychotics." Alya explained.

"Knowing her, she'll need them. But when you say 'really powerful', how strong are we talking?" Marinette asked.

As if on cue, Lila Rossi stumbled in the classroom. She looked a bit dreamy and that smile is not her usual mean smirk, she looked more high than anything else. She noticed Marinette. "Your hair is so blue!" she said as she reached out with her hand and played with one of her pigtails. "Ding! Ding! Ding!"

Marinette didn't dare to move because she wouldn't know what the medicated Lila would do. "Er...glad you like my hair?"

"I'm going to take a seat." Lila said before she giggled like a loony and moved to the back. She sniffs the air and eyed her desk. "The desk smells of cookies!" she then started licking it.

"Ok, that is some really powerful stuff." Marinette noted.

"She dropped the box." Alya said as she picked up the box of antipsychotics. "Whoa..." she said as she studied the details on the box. "Yeah, definately not meant for a normal person." Alya said as she handed the box back to Lila.

"Thanks Alya...say, how long have you been a panda?" Lila asked.

Alya scampered back. "I'm going to go back to my seat." she said as she sat down next to Marinette. "At least it's better then the old Lila."

"Any Lila is better then normal Lila." Marinette noted.

"Miss Rossi, please pull your panties back up!" Miss Bustier said.

"Oh...this isn't the bathroom." Lila said dazed.

**TURTLE, BITCHES; TURTLE!**

The random Akuma sighed and came back onto the scene with Carapace. "Please tell me that giant Power Ranger robot turtle is gone."

"Ok, he's not here. No giant robot turtles." Carapace said.

"Thank God!" The random Akuma said. Suddenly a burst of flame came from nowhere and burnt him to ash. Now being a pile of ash with two eyes, cartoon-like he looked up to see the Giant monster Gamera.

"Well, he is not a giant ROBOT turtle but..." Carapace said.

"I should invest in anger management. Being akumatized for this is so NOT worth it!" the Random Akuma said.

**LILA ROSSI AND THE SCARLET AKUMA ARMY**

Lila would be killed again today, to be revived and killed again in future pieces. This time it was all of them, with Hawkmoth having become Scarlet Moth and now every Akuma in existence were gathered around here.

"After you, my darling." Reflekta said.

"No, after you, sweetheart!" Princess Fragrance said.

"Hey, I was here first!" Timebreaker said.

"Maybe we should decide on whom gets the first kill..." Gamer said. "Rock-Paper-Scissors!"

"That's not fair. Have you looked at my fists? They're always 'rock'! I would easily lose this!" Stoneheart said.

"Somebody just get it over with!" Lila cried out in panic, the anticipation being worse then the killing.

She was then shot through the head and her brains (what little she had) were splattered all over the place.

"Hey, you're not an Akuma!" Vanisher pionted out at the shooter;

The shooter turned out to be Marinette. "True, but I hate her." She then blew the smoke from the barrel of the gun.

**WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT? (Everyone is aged up to 18 in this one)**

"So, does anyone else think we had way too much to drink last night?" Marinette asked. She had woken up, stark naked, in a big luxurious bed, in a hotel room in a distant country, with both an equally naked Adrien and a naked Kagami. Having quickly pulled the sheets up to cover their modesty, they looked around for more clues.

"Whoa, I didn't want to believe Nino when he said coming of age parties were wild." Adrien noted.

"The Miraculous Box is in the corner, so we have sort of an explanation on how we got here." Kagami noted.

"That doesn't explain the rings that are on our fingers...did we all got boozed up and married?" Marinette asked. "I thought polyamory was..."

"It is not forbidden to love more then one person at the time. It is marrying more then one person that is illegal in France, but where ever we are, it doesn't seem to be the case here." Adrien pointed out.

"We still don't know where 'here' is! And as far as we know, with the Miraculouses and us being plastered of our collective asses..." Marinette said.

"With your asses being particularly well-formed." Kagami noted. She then noted the sheets around Adrien's groin. "And that's not the only thing."

"I'm sorry, two hot girls lying with me, my body..." Adrien blushed a type of red only seen on the Ladybug suits.

"I still don't know what is going on!" Marinette sobbed. She then eeped as she felt something touch her bum. "Adrien!"

"Actually, that was me." Kagami noted.

"Kagami, please, we have to figure out what is going on." Marinette said, blushing.

"Five more minutes." Kagami said as she forced Adrien and Marinette to lay down and pulled the sheets over them.

"I'm still a bit tired, so it wouldn't sound too bad." Adrien noted.

"You know what, I give up. A nap sounds good." Marinette said as the three snuggled closer. Marinette jerked up. "Kagami!"

"No, it was me this time..." Adrien said with a catty grin.

"I bet no one else at the party is going through this." Marinette huffed.

In the room next to them, Kim, Max, Ondine and Alix all held up their hands and studied the four identical rings they were wearing. "So...who's going to explain this to our parents?" Kim asked.

"Not me!" the three others said simulteneously.

"Not m-Goddamnit!" Kim said.

In another room, Lila Rossi woke up, and it smelled awful. She looked around and found she was in a room of sorts, and she was laying down next to a very fat Scotsman. Both she and the Scotsman wore an identical ring. This wasn't good. The Scotsman woke up, turned his head (how did he do that without a neck) and grinned. "G'morning, me luv!"

Lila felt a sense of dread come over her, pinching herself in the hopes that she would awake, but it wouldn't come. She sighed, defeated. "Somebody kill me, now!"

In another room, Chloe and Luka woke up in each other's arms. They studied the rings on their fingers. "Mh..." Chloe said, she then lifted the sheets, glancing at her and Luka's naked bodies, mostly the latter. "I can work with this." she said.

"Me too." Luka said.


	8. More random bits

YEET

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Ladybug said as her Lucky Charm was a rock. Most objects she was given seemed random but she instinctively knew it was part of something greater. But a rock...It seemed so dull in comparison.

"You'll figure it out, Milady like you always do." Chat said as he avoided the generic Akuma. "But could you please do it a little bit faster?"

"Mh...What if...no! But if I...nope. Urgh! Why did it give me a rock?" Ladybug said. She didn't have a clue and the Akuma was backing Chat into a corner. "You know what, screw it!"

She threw the rock at the Akuma, hitting him between the eyes. It howled in pain as it held its face. Then it tripped over that same rock and fell off the Eiffel tower all the way down. If it wasn't an Akuma, the guy would have been a street pizza.

"Oh...I guess it was that simple for once." Ladybug muttered dryly.

"Well it was not like that one time where it gave you a sandwich and you pulled out the toothpick to reprogram the computer that the Akuma held." Chat noted.

"Let's just get down and purify him before he wakes up." Ladybug muttered.

"You know, I always wonder why half the Akumas always lead us to the Eiffel Tower. I mean this is paris but we got other landmarks you know..."

FILTH!

"I know it may seem like a kiddy game, but is seen playing Super Penguino a reason to get akumatized over?" Adrien asked, referring to Oblivio.

"Er, Adrien...you are new so you don't know that everyone at College Francois Dupont has adapted the phrase 'Super Penguino' for...er...you know..." Marinette said as she fumbled with her hands making weird gestures.

Adrien looked confused. "For what?"

"You know...when two young teens let their hormones run wild?" Marinette asked.

"I still don't get it?" Adrien said.

Marinette sighed, gestured for Adrien to get closer and whisper something in his ear, his eyes widening as he whispered. Once Marinette was done, her face was a very deep pink and covered her face while Adrien had his mouth open as he stared into the distance.

At that point, Kim walked in with his phone held out. "Hey, I found this weird Super Mario ripoff with penguins, it is kind of fun. Me and Ondine love playing it together."

"IT IS FILTH!" Adrien said as he stood up, pointed at Kim's phone and left the room. "FILTH!"

Kim blinked a few times. "I clearly missed something."

BEING A DAD IS HARD

"Adrien...there has this silly rumor going on about you dating two girls at the same time. But you are the opposite of a stereotypical playboy celebrity teen so I suspect it to not be true but it had to be addressed..." Gabriel said.

"It is true, Dad." Adrien replied.

Gabriel's heart stopped for a few seconds. "I beg your pardon?"

"I am dating both Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Kagami Tsurugi." Adrien replied, like that was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well, I commend your taste in girls, as both are talented and exceptional in their own way but at the same time? What makes you think of doing that?" Gabriel asked.

"Well you told me if you really want to achieve something you could go all for it. I love both girls a lot, they didn't want to give up their friendship, so we settled on this. This way we all win." Adrien said.

"Well on one hand I am pleased you took my advice to heart but on the other hand, you are dating two girls, have you ever thought on how that would reflect on the image of the company? What do their parents say?" Gabriel asked.

"Well, Marinette's parents are the supporting sort and stand by Marinette no matter what. Kagami's mother had her doubts but she came around when she realized that this way she can expect double the grandchildren." Adrien explained.

There was the sound of glass shattering from somewhere in the mansion, the portrait behind them ripped and a blonde, green-eyed woman looking really familiar jumped out. "Did someone say two times the grandbabies?" with a really excited grin.

"Mom?" Adrien asked, stunned.

"Was that all I needed to wake her up? I akumatized half of Paris for nothing." Gabriel said in frustration. Adrien and Emily looked at him funny.

"Dad, you are Hawkmoth?" Adrien asked.

"Gabriel Wensleydale Agreste! Did you use the Butterfly Miraculous to create supervillains behind my back?" Emilie asked furiously.

"Er...Look, a distraction!" Gabriel said as he pointed behind them, ran towards the window and jumped through it.

"Below that window is a rose bush so those thorns will hurt like the dickens." Adrien noted.

"Never mind that, tell me about the girls whom will give me my future grandchildren." Emilie said excited.

"Gabriel, I have your vanilla latte right he-" Nathalie said as she came in with her boss' coffee. She looked at Adrien, the broken window and Emilie. "Er..."

"I am dating both Marinette and Kagami, Dad is hawkmoth and Mom was so excited that she will have twice the grandchildren she returned from...where ever she was." Adrien said.

Nathalie sighed. "Screw this! I don't get paid enough for this. I am taking all the holidays I am owed of the past three years. I'm going to Hawaii, see you in three f***ing months!" Nathalie turned tail and left the room.

"Lets call the ambulance for dad, the Guardian for the Miraculous and my girlfriends for dinner." Adrien suggested.

"That's a great idea. Please in reverse order." Emilie replied.

YET ANOTHER TURTLE SUMMONING

The generic Akuma saw Carapace in front of him. "Please tell me the Ninja Turtles aren't here..."

"They're not here. They attend a pizza eating contest." Carapace said.

"Gamera?"

"He is invited by Godzilla and King Kong to a bachelor party." Carapace answered.

"Those Turtle Zords?"

"The Power Rangers are all involved in another massive crossover special and they needed all their zords." Carapace said.

"In that case, nothing can stop me from finally destroying you. Any final worlds, shellhead?" the Akuma said with a grin.

"Just three: 'I choose you'!" Carapace said. He threw four Pokéballs, and out of it came a Torterra, a Blastoise, a Torkoal and a Carracosta.

The Akuma sighed. "I should have seen something like that coming." Soon he was pelted by highly pressurized water, explosive seeds, flying jagged rocks and hot scorching flames. It was super effective. The Akuma fainted.

BUGZAPPER

The Akuma was lying at the foot of a very big bugzapper, one the size of a truck. The Akumatized person's foot twitched as sparks ran over his body. "I should have thought of this eons ago. People are possessed by butterflies. Butterflies are bugs, and bugs are attracted to these." Ladybug said.

"Now, if we could use this to lure out Hawkmoth himself...would he be affected?" Chat Noir asked.

They heard a scream of Queen Bee, whom was seen at the foot of the bugzapper, her hair in a static blonde afro, twitching and sparking. "B-b-b-but the light was so pretty!"

"If it works on her chance it may work on Hawkmoth." Chat noted. "But why are you not affected?"

"Because I'm f***ing ladybug, that's why!"


	9. And even more random bits

**I WISH I HADN'T HEARD THAT**

"So you now both date Adrien and Kagami?" Alya asked.

"Yes. Both me and Kagami didn't want to ruin our friendship, Adrien liked us both and both Kagami and I were a bit bi-curious but now we know we are full on bi. We all win." Marinette said.

"So whom wears the pants in this three way relationship?" Alya asked.

"Definately Kagami. Not that me and Adrien mind." Marinette said. Her phone then went off. "Oh, Gami sends me a message, she wants me around for her next match. Best not keep her waiting."

"Well, she got you whipped, Mari." Alya chuckled.

"Yes, whip me good mistress!" Marinette blurted out as she covered her mouth and blushed. "Pretend you didn't hear that."

"I wish I could." Alya said, whom was now pale and staring out in front of her.

**THE TURTLEING**

The generic Akuma eyed Carapace again and sighed. "Whom did you bring in this time?" the Akuma asked resigned.

Carapace said: "Oh Bentley!"

An anthro turtle in a wheelchair arrived. "Er...remind me from which franchise you are?" the Akuma asked.

"I am Bentley the turtle from the Sly Cooper video games. I am the brains of the Cooper gang, the protagonists, thieves whom steal from other criminals." Bentley explained.

"Oh, my little brother loves those games. So...what can you do?"

"Allow me!" Bentley pushed a button on his wheelchair and various weapons and gadgets came out and aimed at the Akuma.

"Whoa...that is a killer wheelchair." Right before he was bombarded with five different times of bombs and darts. In the end, the Akuma was defeated again. "When is this guy going to run out of super-turtles?"

**MIRACULOUS NEW YORK**

"Majestia, can I ask a question?" Ladybug asked.

"Sure, go ahead!"

"Where were you and the other heroes while me and my friends are dealing with Hawkmoth in Paris? You are basically Superwoman and Captain Marvel in one? You can be anywhere around the world in an instant! You are not limited to the States!"

"Er..."

FLASHBACK

"Hey, Majestia, come! It's going to start." Knightowl said as they sat down in front of a tv set with some popcorn.

"I hope this is the episode they figure it out and confess." Majestia said as she sat down besides her fellow heroes, and looked at footage of the heroes in Paris, as if it were a cartoon show."

"you know, we could fly over there, tell them and train them?" Doorman suggested.

"And then we'd lose our favorite show." Majestia said as she munched on some salted popcorn.

FLASHBACK ENDS

"Foreign politics! Yeah, real bummer." Majestia said quickly.

**LILA FAILS**

"Ha-ha! I have snuck inside Trashinette's room! Here I can find some good blackmail material, maybe her diary or something else I can destroy to make her sad and ruin her life. Ha...I am so turned on right now." Lila said as she snuck around the room.

"Oh, a neat little diary inside a box, right for the picking!" She tried to grab it but the box clapped around her wrist. "Ah, get it off, get it off!" she tried to shake it off, but it didn't work. "Maybe if I try to pick this lock..." she grabbed her hairpin and tried to force the lock on the trap, only to be shocked and her hair now stood up straight like an Afro. "Ok, picking locks, bad idea."

She stumbled towards a chest. "Oh, what's in there?" she opened it up only to get a lot of blue paint, the same type used in security at the bank, which means it doesn't wash off easily. "Gah! What is this stuff?"

She went into the bathroom, tried to get a few supplies from a small closet, only to find herself punched in the face by a boxing glove. She stumbled backwards and landed on the toilet. She heard an ominous beeping sound. "You got to be kidding me, even the john?" Right before it exploded in her face.

When Marinette, joined by Alya, came home, she found a painted, scorched and shocked Lila stumbling out of the bathroom and dropping on her knees, crying and begging. "I give up! You win! I confess to lying about basically everything, I will give a public statement, I will quite Agreste Industries, bring in my mother, and renounce Hawkmoth but I cannot take it anymore!"

"What?" Alya asked, shocked.

"How do you even walk around your room every day without being hurt?" Lila asked. Marinette's reply included her remaining silent and pulling out a sack of potatoes.

**THE DINOSAUR**

"Chat, did you notice that we suddenly have a dinosaur pet sidekick?" Marinette said as she watched a random Akuma chased by a red and black spotted T-Rex with green cat-like eyes, wearing a giant pair of those cat-ear headphones

"Yeah. It is pretty cool though. Dinos make everything cooler." Chat said.

"Well, he is efficient!" Ladybug noted as the T-Rex had the Akuma in his mouth and shook it around as a dog with his chew toy.

"Yeah...if only I could recall where he came from. I mean that is not something you should forget easily" Chat said.

"Well we have been through some weird adventures, they eventually blend together. What do we call it? And no, you don't name it after characters from anime." Ladybug noted.

"Aw, that brings it down by ninety percent." Chat whined.

"I surrender, just call off your giant lizard!" the Akuma said.

"Oh, it is Lila again. I recognize that screechy voice everywhere." Ladybug said.

"So no hurry, then. Good boy, yet unnamed T-Rex!" Chat cheered.

"What did I ever do to deserve this?" Lila Akuma whined.

"YOU ARE A BITCH!" both heroes said simultaneously.


End file.
